Momma needs a break!

Or at least it feels like it at times! I wonder how I ever mange the way that I do. Why can't I just 'break' like others? I have a breaking point but for some reason I just snap right back to normal if need be, maybe somethings wrong with me? That wouldn't surprise me with out fucked up my childhood was. What else can I say? lol.


Xavier is pretty much potty trained, I've done nothing to push him. He's done it all himself basically. We wear undies when were at home, pull ups when we go out, only because he gets pee shy, so sometimes he doesn't go in public places. He'll do the pee pee dance and ends up peeing on himself on accident. Which is ok, I mean he's only been going potty for about 3wks now. He'll even wake up at night by himself go pee and put himself back to bed. I'm amazed! He loves the potty, which is great for me. Feels great knowing that no more diaper changing for me!

Seth starts Kindergarten soon. I'm pretty excited he'll get out of my hair about 4hrs a day. He's just in half day PM classes but that's better than nothing. I wanted to do all day but thats all they had available, there was a waiting list. Naw I'll wait on that part he needs to start school now lol.

Xavier argues with Seth over a backpack, pretty cute! He wants to go to school just like him! So I'm gonna put him in daycare a few times a week so I can do this photography thing I think. Hopefully it works out that way, if not I guess I'll find something else to do with my time, work related I'm sure! Any extra income would help us.


Lets see, I know there is more to blog, but I cant seem to think of it right now.

Achieving Healthy Communication Keys for Partners

As we are all are human and make mistakes, often we have communcation errors or misunderstandings. Here is an article I typed up for you guys to read and hopefully help you.

Avoid putting someone on the defensive

There are times when we can say or so something which may put the listener on the defensive. We need to avoid creating the defensive environment, this environment will not be conducive to satisfying talking and listening. Be careful to practice the following.

1. Avoid starting sentences with the word "you"

When we begin a sentence with the word you we may be telling the other person a problem exists- and the problem is him or her. The recipient will often go on the defensive and/or put up barrier. Let me give you an example. Imagine yourself having a conversation with your spouse. The subject is getting out of bed morning. Let's say your spouse frequently resets the alarm which often makes it necessary for you to have to rush to work. If you were to discuss this with him yo might say "you are acting irresponsible when yo do that, you make me have to hurry to get to work on time." The statement may be true. however the way it was conveyed will probably elicit an angry response which will n turn result in an argument. If not an angry response, it maybe get a cold shoulder or silent treatment. None of these responses are desirable because the issue remains unsolved. The only result is more anger or hostility. The world "you" when used in this way often is perceived as an attack. When someone is attacked one of two things usually happen: we defend ourselves or we give in.

2. Avoid asking questions that begin with the word "why".

The "why" question often has the same meaning and result as the "you" statement.  For example, using the same illustration as above, you may ask your spouse "why can't you just get up and be about your day?" The word why carries with it the implication that what you are doing is wrong. Maybe sleeping late is a problem, but there are better ways to deal with it than by putting the other person on the defensive.

Diffuse a possible bad situation

There are things we can do or say which can diffuse a tense situation.

1.Start sentences with the world "I" when appropriate.

Beginning a sentence with the word "I" will let your partner know that you are taking ownership for what you are about to say. Sentences which begin with "I think," or "I feel" will not have the negative effect which will result from using the word "you". Remember the above example about sleeping late. Let's take a look at another way of saying the same sentence with the word "I" instead of "you". "I do not like it when I have to hurry to get to work on time. I feel frustrated because of that action causes me to have a problem in the mornings." With the "I" sentence the same message is conveyed, only without implying that your partner is the real problem.

2. Ask questions which begin with the words who, what, when, where, or how.

These kinds of questions will let  your partner know that you are interested in what he/she has to say. They will not throw your partner into a corner or trap him/her. Use the same illustration above and see how the "why" question can be done differently. "What do you think it is that causes you to reset the alarm so many times? How can I help you with this issue?" These types of questions will allow your partner the opportunity to talk without the initial frustration or anger of being put on the defensive.

Four more keys to satisfying talking and listening

1. One at a time

When two people are talking at the same time chaos is often the result. For instance, how can  you hear the other person if you are also talking? Make it a habit to listen wen the other person is talking. Try to allow the talker to share his/her thought before you jump in. This will give your partner the message that you are interested in what he/she has to say. Avoid the tendency to jump in and finish someone else's sentence. This practice can be quite annoying.

2. Stay on the subject.

Couples who have difficulty communicating often fall into a trap of "dirty fighting." One classic example is bring up issues from the past which have nothing at all to do with the subject at hand. Be aware of this tendency and guard against it. Staying on the subject will help you to complete the conversation and reach the conclusion you desire.

3. Attend to the talker

One of the most frustrating experiences a talk can have occurs when the listener does not give the talker his/her full and undivided attention. Here are a few suggestions:

A. Stop distracting activities such as reading the paper or watching TV.

B. Give your partner eye contact. This will let your partner know you are interested and focused.

C. Notice the non-verbal communication your partner is giving you. For example, notice the hands, eyes, body movements and postures.

D. If your partner is sitting, you may want to sit also.

4. Learn to summarize what you have heard

Many arguments or disagreements result when a person misunderstands what they heard. Learning to summarize, or feed back, what you have heard will help insure you got the message correctly. A shared meaning occurs when the receiver gets the same message that his/her partner intended him/her to get. Here are a few guidelines for summarizing.

A. Simply repeat back to your partner what he/she said to you.

B. Be complete. Do not add or take away from what your partner said. Do not give your opinion, that is not summarizing.

C. When you finish ask your partner if you were correct.

D. Try this, "what I hear you saying is....is that right?"

You have to satisfying talking and listening in your inter-personal relationships. Take the time to stretch your thinking and look at some new skills, or look at some old skills in a new way. Encourage your partner to help you by trying the same thing. Together you can raise your level of satisfying communication.

Its been awhile..a long while

I don't even know what to begin, or what to even say. I have so much going on in my head right now. A few people that I know have a little brown on their noses, I find it amusing though. As they try to suck up for their wrong doings, like it'll make a difference. Buying things for others like it'll help, well no but I won't tell you that lol. But if they didn't do something wrong in the first place then they wouldn't have a 'little brown on their nose' bwhaha. I'm evil, well sometimes I feel that way. But honestly, I'm just honest which a lot of people mistake for being bitchy =| I'm not sure why though... Maybe cause the truth hurts? Well duh of course it does.

Anyway enough blabbering on about that, I promise I'm a sweet girl! I'm the best damned friend you'll ever meet!! But then again I'm probably biast, but aren't we all? hehe.

I do have a few things to gloat about. Xavier, my youngest, is finally fully interested in potty training! We gave it a go a few times when he was 2 1/2 and a month or so ago, to see where he was...now today out of the blue he's interested and went pee on the potty not once but 5 times!!! He turns 3 in October so I'm very very ecstatic! I was so worried he wasn't going to be interested in it till he turned 3. But here a few months before then he wants to learn and is ready!! That makes me feel great!! Soon I will be diaper free!!

Here's something sad for ya, well not completely, but from a Mommy's perspective. My oldest, Seth, starts school this year! Yep that's right he'll be in Kindergarten, first day of school is August 17...I'm shocked!! I don't know where the time went at all. I'm excited of course for him and the fact that I get 'mommy' time. But its still very surreal to me. He's stoked of course, its all he's been talking about since he turned 4 lol. He will be 6 in November...thats even shocking too!!

Oooooh another thing! Our wedding anniversary is coming up, 5yrs babyyyy!! Rock on! It doesn't feel like 5yrs at all, well it doesn't feel like we've been together for 7 either. Amazing! Time really goes together after awhile. Wednesday July 14th we will be married for 5yrs exactly!! He will be at work till close(fun 11:30 to 10 lol) but thats ok. My lovely sister is baby sitting for us Thursday so we can go out!

I guess this is all for the time being, Michael is waiting for me to cuddle, he has drill tomorrow lol.


ps I need to redesign my blog with new pictures lol. I guess I'll get that done too.